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The problem with all the stuff
I’ve had a problem in the past few years. It was difficult for me to part with things. I have always bought and accumulated too many things in phases. Only to be so overwhelmed and stressed by it at some point that I then mucked out extremely. These phases between accumulating and sorting out seem to repeat themselves alternately over and over again. In the last few years I have cleaned out a lot but also bought some new things.
1. Sort out
This year, I have therefore decided to sort out mainly and buy as little as possible. And for this I have developed a system for how I plan my new purchases in the future.
The reasons are as follows: I have had extremely little free time in recent years. Things that should be part of pastimes have ended up neglected in some closet or even in the basement. Unfortunately, especially with the latter storage solution, things have suffered as a result. Because I live in an old building and the basement is not exactly optimal for storing things. “Just a few weeks” turned into months and years. And some unused new acquisitions even became downright unusable. In the meantime, I no longer see any sense in most things, neither in their storage nor in their use. That’s why a few weeks ago I started sorting things out extremely, selling things, giving them away and unfortunately throwing them away to some extent.
2. The ballast we don’t see
This saying “out of sight, out of mind” is probably often quite accurate, even when it comes to new purchases and things we own. We create storage space for things we want to clear out of sight, and once they’re put away, we forget about them. Who doesn’t know that?
But they are still not completely out of our consciousness. You can feel it. You can feel their weight sitting in the attic or in the basement and if you have to look for something in it, it often causes a certain amount of stress.
Not that my basement was pure chaos, but it was just too much, too confusing and, above all, too unfinished. Everything reminded me of projects I had cancelled, vacations that couldn’t take place, or time that had passed too quickly.
For the last 20 years, I have moved every 2-4 years. And each time, unfortunately, at least some of this unused ballast had to be taken along. Because there was no more time to go through things, or I was paralized and overwhelmed and couldn’t make any decisions about it.
This year I’ve been living in my apartment for 4 years and I know I definitely want to move again soon. Why I move so often is another story, but this time or the next time, I definitely want to be better prepared. And for me, that means the basement has to be empty. And in my apartment there are no more unnecessary things that I don’t really like or use regularly.
3. A clutter magnet
I find it really surprising where so many things seem to come from again and again. Because I really don’t ever go shopping. I shop online regularly, that’s true, but actually not much, I think. I don’t really make any new purchases. Nevertheless, I have been soothing for years, without end.
But my apartment is far from empty. How come? Where does all that stuff come from all the time? If you have children, then the answer is quite clear, from the grandparents, I say. Do you know that? But even at times when I wasn’t a mother yet, I felt like I had way too much stuff. It’s like I’m really putting on clutter. This year, I will once again focus on questioning all the things I own or plan to buy.
4. Why I don’t go shopping (regularly) anymore
When I was growing up and until a few years ago, it was a normal and popular pastime for many women around me to go shopping.
My mother, my sister and I have always liked to go “strolling” together. My mother never really looked for specific things, but as soon as she discovered something she liked, she spontaneously “invented” a need for it.
For example, she saw a pair of black sandals that she liked and suddenly she had to have these black sandals. The interesting thing, however, is that she never stood by the fact that she simply liked the sandals, for example. No, in her logic, she had to have these sandals, because “you just need black sandals that had this shape or this particular heel”. For them, this is a good reason for a spontaneous new purchase.
The argument that she already owned 10 pairs of black sandals was downright outrageous for her, because all other black sandals were completely different and “you” wouldn’t be able to wear them on occasion XY. Most of the things that this ominous “man” my mother used to talk about was basically responsible for the contents of at least 5 different shoe cabinets in her house, as well as the contents of her walk-in closet, as well as various other closets. “You wear it now”, “you put it on like that”, “but you need it”, etc.
5. Rethink
To be honest, I have never been able to understand this way of thinking. Nevertheless, I had adapted their behavior and cultivated a similar shopping behavior for many years. I think I had consciously but nevertheless to a certain extent taken her behavior to heart rather as a negative example and at some point decided for myself not to go shopping so haphazardly anymore. And above all, to completely ignore this “one”. Because most of the time only things come out that end up souring unused in taverns, because “you” may have worn them at the time, but you yourself didn’t really feel comfortable in them, nor did you really need the things at all.
6. The plan
Nowadays I have a plan for new purchases. I have a list in an app that I regularly look at and edit. It is written on as things that I would theoretically like to have. Above all, this is how I plan my wardrobe. In my “wardrobe wishlist” are all the clothes and accessories that I would theoretically like to have and think I really need. Because I don’t buy (almost) anything spontaneously, I am much less likely to make bad purchases.
Another advantage is that I think carefully about whether I really want a part. If it was just a trend that influenced me, then I usually quickly realize that the respective part is not really important to me and I delete it from my list before I even buy it.
Only when I’ve really had the respective part on the list for some time and keep thinking about it, I buy it. In this way, I had a relatively long period of anticipation and when I actually have it, I am usually all the more happy about it.
7. How I plan my list
There are a few factors that I consider before I even plan to buy a part. It must be as sustainable and high-quality as possible. It has to be as timeless as possible and match the rest of my wardrobe in terms of style and color, i.e. it has to be versatile. Also, it has to fit most of my everyday situations. I absolutely never buy pieces that I expect to wear only once. I’ve never done either.
Conclusion
I really don’t like hours of shopping through crowded shopping malls and noisy city centers these days. I never liked watching hauls and I don’t like coming home with dozens of random parts.
If you enjoy it, you are of course welcome to do so. I don’t judge that. I just think that this is presented as “normal” nowadays and that “you” do it that way, problematic, or I don’t agree with the whole thing. How do you see the topic? Are you still dreaming of a huge wardrobe with thousands of pieces? Or do you feel more comfortable with a capsule wardrobe with 100 pieces? Do you still like to watch hauls? Feel free to let me know in the comments.
I wish you a relaxing weekend.
All the love
Christina
“Our lives are much harder than those of our ancestors because we have to buy so many things that make our lives easier.”
Gabriel Laub
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About the author
Christina Ernst is founder and CEO of Linen & Quince. She is also a designer, author and real estate expert. She shares her experiences and knowledge not only on our Linen & Quince blog, but also on her personal blog, christinaernst.net , where she writes about financial knowledge, starting a business, real estate knowledge and personal development. She loves interior design, art, antiques, as well as elegant, sustainable and high-quality fashion.
